Zoey’s Musical Catharsis
Courtesy of NBC.
Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist (ZEP) is an NBC show (2020-present) about a young, ambitious programmer named Zoey (Jane Levy) who develops an interesting superpower—hearing people’s innermost feelings through gigantic musical numbers (later dubbed “heart songs”) that only she can see. The pilot episode deals with Zoey gaining the superpower, navigating through the ensuing confusion, and using what she learns to connect with people more deeply, a more than difficult task given that the people who sing to her have no idea that they’re doing so. Propping up Zoey is a host of supporting characters who occupy important places in her life: her family (her brother and both her parents), her best friend and coworker Max (Skylar Astin), her electric, non-binary neighbour Mo (Alex Newell), her dynamic boss Joan (Lauren Graham), and her many colleagues at the fictional tech firm SPRQ Point. As the pilot progresses, however, we see Zoey struggling with a promotion interview, wrestling with romantic feelings for a new colleague named Simon, and coming to terms with her father’s soon-to-be-fatal illness…all in addition to grappling with the fact that people are spilling out their deepest darkest secrets to her in song!
Zoey isn’t an extroverted person, and it could be argued that this introversion is the result of her innate character in tandem with her insecurities. When her boss Joan asks her about her contribution “percentage” to a team project, Zoey stutters out a feeble “Six…,” and, upon hearing Joan’s scathing response, nervously throws in a “...ty…four?” to compensate. Similarly, when running into Simon, the popular and handsome new guy at work, she blurts out an awkward “howdy!” only to attract a bemused look from Max. These moments littered throughout the episode establish Zoey as a protagonist who’s prone to minimizing herself, her personality, and her accomplishments, even if she’s arguably too self-critical. This could very well be uncharacteristic, though — perhaps her confidence is only temporarily shaken because of the pain of coming to terms with the deteriorating health of a father she loves deeply. However, I’d say these examples of awkwardness are symptomatic of a broader nervous disposition, one that Zoey herself sums up in her promotion interview when she jokes that she only became a coder because she’s the stereotypically awkward programmer come to life.
In terms of aesthetics, it does feel like the writers took the “awkward nerd” trope too far. Everything from Zoey’s striped cardigan and collared shirt duo to the “Everything is under Ctrl” poster in her room screams “loveable geek.” In some ways, the show has many tropes beyond Zoey’s characterization: the supportive best-friend (Max) secretly in love with the protagonist and the racially and/or sexually diverse character forced into a supporting role with minimal character development (Mo) being two examples. This lack of depth, however, offers us crucial insight into how Zoey navigates the world. To her, everybody else seems shiny and perfect while she’s bogged down by emotional turmoil and self-doubt. This representation of the world as seen through Zoey’s eyes serves to accentuate the already noticeable cracks in her confidence.
Adding on to Zoey’s aura of insecurity are a series of unfortunate events that seem to take a hit on her sense of self over the course of the episode. There’s the more obvious discomfiture coming from the ludicrous dance numbers and the uncomfortable insights into strangers’ innermost feelings — Zoey discusses these “heart songs” a few times with Mo and once with her father. However, in addition to these vulnerable moments, a number of seemingly less significant incidents also provoked my sympathy. There is, of course, the awful promotion interview, but there are a couple more scenes that stand out in the episode.
Once, when she suggests to her family that they open the window because her father used to love being outdoors, she’s met with an irritable refusal from both her mother and her brother, coupled with the accusation that she doesn’t care about him catching a cold. When Zoey’s on her way to her interview, her colleague Lief, a suave, seemingly innocuous man also up for a promotion, wishes her good luck and assures her that there’s no toxic competition. Almost right away, he breaks into a vicious rendition of “All I Do Is Win” (another of the episode’s many heart songs), very obviously undercutting his own pretensions at sincerity. Notwithstanding the comedic relief that such jarring irony generates, for someone in Zoey’s position, learning that your most talented colleague is out to get you is not the most pleasant information to receive. She responds to each of these incidents with varying degrees of emotion, and perhaps some of them are mere trifles compared to the heavier side of the show. There is one moment, though, that strikes her straight to her core — and that is when she runs into Simon at the bakery.
Zoey has been bonding with Simon over the course of the episode — early on, he unknowingly sings “Mad World” (a decidedly uncheerful song) to her, and when she asks him what’s wrong, she learns that his father died by suicide almost a year ago. With her own father’s life dwindling away, she’s able to support Simon in a way that few other people can and they strike up a good-natured friendship. Except Zoey’s deeply smitten with him, and when she runs into him at the bakery, she lights up...until she hears someone call out “babe” and rush to Simon’s side. This tall, well-dressed, extremely attractive woman, Zoey learns quickly, is Simon’s fiancée, and one can almost pinpoint the exact moment when the happiness runs out of Zoey’s face and is replaced with a superficially concealed wave of sadness. Some people might give Zoey a sympathetic nod, recognising the pain of romantic rejection; but for me, this scene is loaded with emotion beyond the mere ache of rejection because of how Simon has been characterised prior to this scene. From the get-go, he is established as charismatic and desirable, and when Zoey talks to Max about her infatuation we see her swooning over what she sees as his many, many admirable qualities. When she sees Simon on a Tuesday morning energetically playing table tennis, she comments on his “joie de vivre.” Most importantly, after Simon sings “Mad World,” Zoey’s outburst to Mo tells us how she views him:
“It just doesn’t make sense! The guy is handsome, and happy, and charming, and very, very sexy… he should only be singing massively upbeat anthems about how totally awesome he is!”
Perhaps this can be viewed as harmless gushing, but to me it seems that Zoey has put Simon on a pedestal — he’s perfect, someone she’s utterly unworthy of. So when she finds out he’s engaged, it’s a moment of tragic confirmation: someone as undeniably flawless as Simon is out of reach for someone as awkward, bumbling, and “sub-par” as Zoey. It’s not the impossibility of her and Simon being together itself that feels painful, but rather the implication arising from it — that Zoey isn’t worthy of love, success, or even happiness. By the time she slumps down on the couch next to her father toward the end of the episode and tearily admits to feeling like “everyone’s against me,” only then do we as viewers feel how true that is, and what follows is a moment of deep emotional release.
Zoey’s father begins singing her a heart song, slowly drawing her into an intimate slow-dance as he does so. When he holds her hand and twirls her around, when her face flushes with disbelief and her eyes cloud with emotion, I myself am also moved to tears. Of course Zoey’s father isn’t actually singing or dancing, much like everybody else when they’re singing their heart songs—this is all happening in Zoey’s head. But in this case, there is a more heartbreaking reason why this can never be real: he’s not doing either of these things because he’s physically incapable of doing so. Zoey’s father is paralyzed from head to toe due to a rare neurological disease that has both numbered his days and made it impossible for him to move or to speak. But Zoey’s newfound superpower enables the impossible as her father breaks out into “True Colors” by Cyndi Lauper and gently caresses her while they dance. He validates her feelings — “And the darkness inside you/ Can make you feel so small” — and recognises her best, most beautiful, and most authentic self — “But I see your true colors/ Shining through.” However, the actual words registered less than the bond itself that came through when he embraced her. It was almost as if his every action was brimming with pure love, was recognising her sorrow with warmth, was singing, “I see your true colors, the most visceral degree of you-ness, and I don’t love you in spite of it, I love you because of it.” And when I saw the relief on Zoey’s face, after seeing everything she had gone through over the course of the episode, it felt cathartic.
At the same time, my reaction to this episode was accompanied by a little bit of sadness. In my personal experience of dealing with low self-worth, the resolution is unfortunately not as simple as one loving exchange, or (in the case of Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist) one heartfelt musical number; it takes an incredibly arduous journey of introspection and emotional catharsis. In spite of this, I welcomed Zoey’s emotional release. I also recognise that her release was only possible through the willing suspension of disbelief that this show necessitates, given that her paralyzed father communicates with her through her “superpower.” Although some might view this with skepticism, for me it was what made the show unique and exciting to watch, seeing how this superpower interacts with fundamental concepts of human emotion and human connection.
Even though it could be argued that Zoey’s emotional trajectory was too clean-cut and that the lack of realism undercuts the emotional undertones of the show, I feel that these very reasons constitute its charm. Seeing Zoey’s perception of the world slowly shatter as she discovers people’s unexpected truths enables us to better appreciate that we, perhaps, are simply not the center of the universe… even so, the show tells us that that doesn’t take away from the validity of our own emotional journeys as long as we are open to different ways of looking at the world. Ultimately, I felt engaged as I saw the first episode, and Zoey’s dance with her father was an unforgettable highlight.
Verdict: Yay!